Big Smile
by drake220
Summary: Shippo remembers his parent's murder.......warning: graphic images contained winthin!


Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha. Very annoyed about it.

"speaking"

'thinking'

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flashback memory

A/N: at bottom. Enjoy!  
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**Big Smile**

He came awake suddenly. There was no warning stir, a cautionary rustle. He made no sound nor any noise as his consciousness was jerked from its rest. Huddled in the same corner of Kagome's sleeping blanket that he always slept in, Shippo's eyes were wide and alert. He was used to this.

'Why again? I don't want to see it.......' he thought miserably. He pushed his eyelids closed so tightly that they ached but the images wouldn't leave. Shippo shuddered. 

_A scramble in the darkness. Screams in the night. Blood that manages to shine though there is not light. A cavernous hole that used to be a home._

Some memories were not meant to be relived. 

_"Shippo, mama won't ask you again. What were you doing there?"_

"Nothin' mama! I promise!"

"You know that castle is dangerous. Those Thunder people are very powerful and have very short tempers. Kitsune's like us do not start up with folks like them. It's too risky."

Some memories are too painful to be recalled. 

_An imperious glare from evil eyes. "How dare you steal food from our orchard? Stupid thieving kitsunes!"_

"Hiten! My family didn't do anything! Please calm down!"

"Trying to protect your woman and the whelp? I'll kill them just to see you in suffer...and then I'll kill you, kitsune-man."

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..." Shippo whispered into the dark, begging forgiveness from the memories of those long dead.

_"Shippo. Mama needs you to run out the back way. Out the secret entrance." Breathless fear crowds the air in the burrow._

"But mama, you have to come with me!"

"Shippo. Someone needs to stay and convince Hiten that we're still inside. Run. Out. The. Back."

"No!" 

A cruel and jaded smile glinted in the setting sun.

"Lighting Attack!" came the gloating confident shout. A blue ball of pure electrical energy knifes through the miles of air.

A flung open window. A desperate throw out to safety. 

Blistering heat as the missile comes closer to the little home.

Feeling the air pass by as ground hurtles upward. The pain of landing. 

A desperate last scream from a mother's throat. 

"Shippo! Mama lov-"

An explosion of elemental energy colliding with physical earth, water and flesh.

Shippo gags as he smells his mother's burnt and charred flesh, the memory permeating his nose all over again.

_"NO!" a furious shout from a man not prepared to lose everything in his life at once. _

Frozen with fear, saying nothing, shivering in tall grass.

"You bastards! My wife and child did nothing to you!" Rage echoed in the night.

"Hmm...That is a lovely pelt you have." An uncaring sinister voice from a bloated head. "It's been a long time since I've had such nice fur. I think-" the voice grew harsher- "I'll take it from you!"

"Try, you pathetic swine!"

"No papa...don't.....mama said not to make them angry." Shippo knew it to be a futile warning, years too late.

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"Swine, you say? Brother Hiten, may I kill this one all on my own? He has annoyed me."

"Why certainly brother Manten. In the meantime, I'll have a little snack."

Eyes grow wide in the dark. Horror is crawling through every pore and nerve.

The sound of bones, flesh and nerves ripping, torn from the body, is loud and wet in the stillness of twilight.

A detached thigh becomes a meal. 

  
"What are you doing to her body, you sick monster??" a disbelieving cry from the newly widowed kitsune.

"Roasted kitsune is a delicious dinner. Don't you agree, Brother Manten?" comes the casual reply.

A snorted uproarious laugh. "Well said, my brother! Well said indeed!"

A wordless scream of pain, anger and rage. 

"Why didn't I say anything? Why didn't I tell him that I was there? If I had said something......" Shippo whispered questions with no answers except guilt and self hatred into the night air.

_Suicidal revenge. The pain overwhelms the mind and instincts._

"You attack me fox-man? How amusing! I would use my ultimate attack but quite frankly, I don't think I need to use up so much energy on someone as insignificant as you!!" 

A grasped hilt. The hiss of drawn steel. The clash of blades rings and the air itself shivers. A fatal thrust to the belly. 

"You die, Kitsune. You die too soon. I had no fun." chastises Manten. "We should have killed you long ago. The color of red blood suits you. Let this be a warning to all- do not steal from our apple orchard." 

A final exhaled breath. An orphan made in murder.

Shippo tried to dispel the memory, a last attempt to save himself. No avail. The memory plays on.

_Sick fascination. The careful detaching of skin and fur from the nerves, fat and bone. An almost scientific dissection, the separation of pelt from flesh is a delicate process. _

A child's innocence raped, his armor of childhood peeled away as a father's skin is lifted from the still twitching body. 

"How could I just watch? How could I allow them to desecrate you like that?" Shippo whispered. Self- disgust oozes from his words, dropping onto a wounded soul.

_The blood is everywhere. It saturates the ground. Large eyes that have seen too much stare as a father is created into a belt and a mother becomes food for monsters. _

A wind, a cloud- the monsters are gone. There is just one child alone. Alone with the mutilated carcasses of his parents at his feet.

Painstaking, back breaking burial. Little hands are now covered in gore and blood. 

A wash in the stream does not wash the blood away. It has seeped into his soul.

Shippo rubbed his eyes. The sun was rising. The memory had once again crept into his dreams, stolen his sleep, poured salt into wounds that would never fully close. 

_A scramble in the darkness. A scream in the night. Blood that manages to shine though there is not light. A cavernous hole that used to be a home._

Sighing heavily, Shippo got up to poke the campfire awake. He felt like screaming up to the heaven's, flinging himself into the fire- anything that would prove his penance, show his remorse. He could feel the guilt/anger/fear/horror clawing at his face, turning his child's features into a grimace of sadness and pain. 

"Shippo-chan? What are you doing up?" Kagome asked softly.

Shippo didn't move, his back to his surrogate mother. 

'Breath deep Shippo. Clear your mind. Think about everything later. Good. Let your mind be empty. Good. Now, put on a big smile. Make it a little sleepy, there you go, good. Big smile Shippo. Don't make Kagome worried. Ready? Now you can turn. Just...keep ...smiling. They'll never know.'

Mask firmly in place, Shippo turned to his replacement family, the cheerful little boy that they all knew. 

"Nothing Kagome-chan. Why would anything be wrong?" He scampered up into her lap and gave her their ritualistic good morning hug. 

Shippo rested his head on her shoulders.

'She'll never know', he thought to himself. 'None of them will ever know. None of them will ever find out that although I have these memories playing and replaying in my head, I don't see my parents faces. What they looked like is fading. I can't remember mama's smile or papa's laugh. I don't remember how it felt to be held by them or to smell them. I'm forgetting them.'

He clenched Kagome tighter.

'They'll never know that the only way I can see my parents now is as piles of discarded eaten bones and flesh. As lumps of meat. I cannot see their faces at all. Perhaps this is my penance......'

"Oi! Runt!"

Shippo turned to see Inuyasha and steeled himself for another day.

'Remember- big smile Shippo. Big smile............... '

  
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A/N: hope you liked it. As always, criticisms are welcomed and appreciated. I wrote this story over a period of one day so NO it didn't cut into other story writing time. But i'm still nervous the format was too confusing. As for the sad tone, let's just say my teacher lied about what was on my law midterm and things didn't go as I planned shall we? Read and Review! I want feedback, I want improvement!! Work with me here people!!!   



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